Kimchi... to the power of umpteen!!!
So, recently as part of my continuing development as a professional English teacher, I was forced to undergo what could only be described politely as sometime what closely resembled a training session. I still don't know what i learned exactly, other than a lack of belief in my own district supervisor, and an increasing amount of appreciation for anyone with a brain who works beneath him.
However, during one of the enlightening parts of the training, some mates and myself came up with a list of all of the additional attributes concerning kimchi. For those of you who don't know what kimchi is, its the national food of Korea; if it isn't, then it should be. If you ask Koreans, they love the stuff; i find it revolting and a waste of good food. Its basically spicy concoctions of vegetables, typically either spiced up cabbage leaves, or spiced up lettuce leaves. It can also come as spiced up potatoes, or different forms of pickled vegetables as well. If you want a better explanation of what kimchi is, go here. But don't take my word for it - go and try some of that delectable looking food today!
So back to the reason for this update in news - why you should eat kimchi. Koreans will mumble and jumble for endless ages about how you should eat kimchi because of its health benefits, and how its their secret for living long, fruitful lives. The problem however is that in today's society, we're so accustomed to hearing all sorts of garbage about how everything we eat is healthy, that we're all looking for something that has that extra bonus that we need to stay ahead of the game. Well, look no further, because kimchi is what you've been waiting for! Aside from all of the benefits that you've undoubtedly read about, or know from personal experience, here are some of the newest benefits of kimchi that are a little less-known.
1)Kimchi is scientifically proven to help you fly - If you look at this exciting graphic image just obtained from the Korean Aerospace Research Institute, when you eat kimchi, you will significantly decrease your flight speed when your parachute fails to open. Ever heard of a death in Korea because of their parachute not opening? Neither have I, and this undoubtedly is valid proof.
2) Kimchi is a proven shark deterrent. Do you know how hard it is to buy shark repellent these days? South Korea is a peninsula, which means that they're surrounded on all sides by water (i.e - sharks) including if you travel North - dirty communist sharks are even more dangerous than Democratic sharks.) Sharks have such powerful noses that they can smell how many parts per MILLION of kimchi you have in your body. and they want absolutely NO part of you when they do the math...can you blame them? Again, when's the last time you were reading Chosun News and you saw a picture like this, of how another poor soul was lost to a shark? I rest my case.
3) Kimchi is a vital substitute for Plutonium in your Flux Capacitor. Remember in Back to the Future III, when Marty went back in time to rescue the Doc from MadDog? They needed to escape fast, and they ended up using what appeared to be special logs inside the train engine to push them up to speed, right? WRONG? Because kimchi has clearly been around forever, what the Doc actually did was discover that kimchi, with all its powerful properties, was enough to power them up to the required speed, without even needing gasoline. The only problem was that kimchi would have never sold the movie like the colourful exploding logs would, so they stuck to the original script, and as we all know, the movie was never able to recover from the popularity of the first two. Such a shame, kimchi would have clearly brought it over the top.
4) Kimchi is a natural stain repellent/stain remover, take your pick. You might argue that with kimchi's natural red colour from the red pepper paste/red pepper oil, and whatever else they put into the kimchi, that it would actually be a natural stain causer. Well, you couldn't be more wrong. Stains pretty much have to come close to the smell of kimchi, and just like bad sucka's ran at the mere sight of B.A Baracus from the A-Team, stains run, in fact, they sprint from the presence of kimchi. And why not - when you're that strong, its no wonder.
Stay tuned for the next installment of the secret powers of kimchi - more to come in the future weeks...
However, during one of the enlightening parts of the training, some mates and myself came up with a list of all of the additional attributes concerning kimchi. For those of you who don't know what kimchi is, its the national food of Korea; if it isn't, then it should be. If you ask Koreans, they love the stuff; i find it revolting and a waste of good food. Its basically spicy concoctions of vegetables, typically either spiced up cabbage leaves, or spiced up lettuce leaves. It can also come as spiced up potatoes, or different forms of pickled vegetables as well. If you want a better explanation of what kimchi is, go here. But don't take my word for it - go and try some of that delectable looking food today!
So back to the reason for this update in news - why you should eat kimchi. Koreans will mumble and jumble for endless ages about how you should eat kimchi because of its health benefits, and how its their secret for living long, fruitful lives. The problem however is that in today's society, we're so accustomed to hearing all sorts of garbage about how everything we eat is healthy, that we're all looking for something that has that extra bonus that we need to stay ahead of the game. Well, look no further, because kimchi is what you've been waiting for! Aside from all of the benefits that you've undoubtedly read about, or know from personal experience, here are some of the newest benefits of kimchi that are a little less-known.
1)Kimchi is scientifically proven to help you fly - If you look at this exciting graphic image just obtained from the Korean Aerospace Research Institute, when you eat kimchi, you will significantly decrease your flight speed when your parachute fails to open. Ever heard of a death in Korea because of their parachute not opening? Neither have I, and this undoubtedly is valid proof.
2) Kimchi is a proven shark deterrent. Do you know how hard it is to buy shark repellent these days? South Korea is a peninsula, which means that they're surrounded on all sides by water (i.e - sharks) including if you travel North - dirty communist sharks are even more dangerous than Democratic sharks.) Sharks have such powerful noses that they can smell how many parts per MILLION of kimchi you have in your body. and they want absolutely NO part of you when they do the math...can you blame them? Again, when's the last time you were reading Chosun News and you saw a picture like this, of how another poor soul was lost to a shark? I rest my case.
3) Kimchi is a vital substitute for Plutonium in your Flux Capacitor. Remember in Back to the Future III, when Marty went back in time to rescue the Doc from MadDog? They needed to escape fast, and they ended up using what appeared to be special logs inside the train engine to push them up to speed, right? WRONG? Because kimchi has clearly been around forever, what the Doc actually did was discover that kimchi, with all its powerful properties, was enough to power them up to the required speed, without even needing gasoline. The only problem was that kimchi would have never sold the movie like the colourful exploding logs would, so they stuck to the original script, and as we all know, the movie was never able to recover from the popularity of the first two. Such a shame, kimchi would have clearly brought it over the top.
4) Kimchi is a natural stain repellent/stain remover, take your pick. You might argue that with kimchi's natural red colour from the red pepper paste/red pepper oil, and whatever else they put into the kimchi, that it would actually be a natural stain causer. Well, you couldn't be more wrong. Stains pretty much have to come close to the smell of kimchi, and just like bad sucka's ran at the mere sight of B.A Baracus from the A-Team, stains run, in fact, they sprint from the presence of kimchi. And why not - when you're that strong, its no wonder.
Stay tuned for the next installment of the secret powers of kimchi - more to come in the future weeks...