So, recently as part of my continuing development as a professional English teacher, I was forced to undergo what could only be described politely as sometime what closely resembled a training session. I still don't know what i learned exactly, other than a lack of belief in my own district supervisor, and an increasing amount of appreciation for anyone with a brain who works beneath him.
However, during one of the enlightening parts of the training, some mates and myself came up with a list of all of the additional attributes concerning kimchi. For those of you who don't know what kimchi is, its the national food of Korea; if it isn't, then it should be. If you ask Koreans, they love the stuff; i find it revolting and a waste of good food. Its basically spicy concoctions of vegetables, typically either spiced up cabbage leaves, or spiced up lettuce leaves. It can also come as spiced up potatoes, or different forms of pickled vegetables as well. If you want a better explanation of what kimchi is, go here. But don't take my word for it - go and try some of that delectable looking food today!
So back to the reason for this update in news - why you should eat kimchi. Koreans will mumble and jumble for endless ages about how you should eat kimchi because of its health benefits, and how its their secret for living long, fruitful lives. The problem however is that in today's society, we're so accustomed to hearing all sorts of garbage about how everything we eat is healthy, that we're all looking for something that has that extra bonus that we need to stay ahead of the game. Well, look no further, because kimchi is what you've been waiting for! Aside from all of the benefits that you've undoubtedly read about, or know from personal experience, here are some of the newest benefits of kimchi that are a little less-known.




1)Kimchi is scientifically proven to help you fly - If you look at this exciting graphic image just obtained from the Korean Aerospace Research Institute, when you eat kimchi, you will significantly decrease your flight speed when your parachute fails to open. Ever heard of a death in Korea because of their parachute not opening? Neither have I, and this undoubtedly is valid proof.






2) Kimchi is a proven shark deterrent. Do you know how hard it is to buy shark repellent these days? South Korea is a peninsula, which means that they're surrounded on all sides by water (i.e - sharks) including if you travel North - dirty communist sharks are even more dangerous than Democratic sharks.) Sharks have such powerful noses that they can smell how many parts per MILLION of kimchi you have in your body. and they want absolutely NO part of you when they do the math...can you blame them? Again, when's the last time you were reading Chosun News and you saw a picture like this, of how another poor soul was lost to a shark? I rest my case.



3) Kimchi is a vital substitute for Plutonium in your Flux Capacitor. Remember in Back to the Future III, when Marty went back in time to rescue the Doc from MadDog? They needed to escape fast, and they ended up using what appeared to be special logs inside the train engine to push them up to speed, right? WRONG? Because kimchi has clearly been around forever, what the Doc actually did was discover that kimchi, with all its powerful properties, was enough to power them up to the required speed, without even needing gasoline. The only problem was that kimchi would have never sold the movie like the colourful exploding logs would, so they stuck to the original script, and as we all know, the movie was never able to recover from the popularity of the first two. Such a shame, kimchi would have clearly brought it over the top.


4) Kimchi is a natural stain repellent/stain remover, take your pick. You might argue that with kimchi's natural red colour from the red pepper paste/red pepper oil, and whatever else they put into the kimchi, that it would actually be a natural stain causer. Well, you couldn't be more wrong. Stains pretty much have to come close to the smell of kimchi, and just like bad sucka's ran at the mere sight of B.A Baracus from the A-Team, stains run, in fact, they sprint from the presence of kimchi. And why not - when you're that strong, its no wonder.

Stay tuned for the next installment of the secret powers of kimchi - more to come in the future weeks...

I'm sure all of you know of the tourism slogans that many countries use via television commercials to try and get you to visit their spot. Well, some foreigners took the time to create some (less than) creative slogans for Korea, and some of them are quite funny, especially for those of you who have been here before. So, for those of you who know nothing about Korea, or for those who live here currently, enjoy!

Korea: Where Even the Rednecks Drive Hyundai's -
In North America,Hyundai cars are valued for their cheap prices and, well, cheap prices. Many people see them as a cheaper alternative to those who cannot afford a Toyota or a Honda car. However, in Korea, EVERYONE drives a Hyundai. Not only that, but they all buy their Hyundai's in the same colours; black or white. In my opinion, their car models look even better than Honda's and Toyota's new models - unfortunately the models they manufacture here are not the same as they make in North America.

Korea: go ahead, you can smoke here -
Pretty self-explanatory; there is almost no place that is off-limits to smoke, except say, in a Hospital...It's pretty bad, and they make most American's look like lightweights with their smoking habits....

Korea: no no the other one -
Believe it or not, when I sometimes tell my friends back home that I'm teaching in Korea, they somewhat seriously ask if I mean North Korea - South Korea's actual country name is "the Republic of Korea" - while the North's official name is "Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea."

Korea: Peeing in private optional -
Last week, I was biking back from my squash, and the bus driver pulled over to the side of the road, opened his door, and proceeded to step into the bushes on the side of the road (the bushes were between the road and the apartment community on the other side) and proceeded to pee all over the place. While its not common to see, it does happen, and everytime you see it, you do a double take, and think "yup, that's what i thought - he's taking a leak." By the way, only men do this, not the women....

Korea: Where ANYONE can own a language school -
Roughly less than ten years ago, when the big English boon started happening, dozens of English langauge schools opened up everywhere, and foreigners started coming in droves. Many of the "teachers" who were hired to teach were shocked to find out that their boss knew absolutely NO ENGLISH, and yet they were operating an English language school. It's sad to say, but this is still happening all over Korea.

Welcome to Korea. When are you going back to your country? -
So many foreigners come to Korea to teach, that a frequently asked question is not "where are you from" but rather "When does your contract finish?" Usually this is asked however to those who just want to finish their year, collect their severance bonus, and go home.

Korea: Japan without the boobs on TV -
Partly because Korea is such a traditional country, and very religious (for the most part) no nudity is shown on television, at all. Its all blocked out with those blurry squares. Another surprising thing is that many Korean television channels turn off sometimes just after midnight - they don't stay on for 24 hours a day - this keeps their costs down, and allows them to show fewer commercials.

Korea: Give me your tired, your poor, your Canadian -
Compliments of so many students going to school and getting oodles and oodles into debt, so many Canadians come here, that its almost scary. The Government just set a cap on sending money home, because they realized that they could make more money with their banks if they changed how Canadians send their money home.

Korea: HI NICE TO MEET YOU BYE -
So many children, especially when they are surrounded by their friends, will walk up to you, say "Hi, nice to meet you!" And then, before you have a chance to say anything, they say, rather quite loudly "Bye!" and then run off giggling with their friends.

Korea: Land of the Morning Vegetable Truck -
In any apartment community, at early hours of the morning, and also at night around sundown, you'll hear loud microphone bells driving througout the different car parking lots surrounding your apartment. Its just the friendly neighbourhood vegetable man selling fruits, and being kind enough to let you know he's in your neighbourhood. On weekends, those mutterings that can be heard are the foreigners who want to sleep in, but cant because of the constant bells projected over the megaphone.

Korea: Technically, it's a cease-fire -
If you talk about the Korean War of 1950-1953, many of the older people will point out that the war's technically not over....it was just a ceasefire.

Korea: If it ain't Korean it's wrong -
Korean's are fiercely independant, and promote Korean products very strongly. Imports? Never! Even now, with the US beef coming into Korea, Koreans would often pay the much higher cost for Korean beef (much less additives and not stuffed with chemicals) than to buy the inferior American beef. But Australian beef is okay...

Korea: Where you can have your dog and eat it too -
Yes, you can eat dog here, and also own one as a pet. Dog meat is prized for its ability to increase virility...that may be why men are often the only one's who eat it...

Korea: Our barber polls spin 24/7 -
Yes, the barber polls spin all day and night. Single barber poles are very different from double barber-polls...and if you want to find out why that's so, i'll let you do the research. I know, but I don't want to post it here...

Korea: DOKDO IS OURS! HANDS OFF JAPAN! p.s. Visit Korea -
Dokdo is a tiny little rocky island that's pretty much useless. Korean maps show it as a former island of Korea before Japan invaded Korea, however, somehow, its now in the "ownership" of Japan. Korea is constantly fighting to get their island back. On a side note, most young children hate "Japan," but not Japanese people...and its all because of Dokdo.

Korea: Our food is too spicy for you -
It doesn't matter how long you have lived here, the Koreans will think that their food is too spicy for you - so they'll tell you "You probably won't want to eat this; it's spicy!" As if we've never had spicy food before, or tried Korean food before. It's sometimes almost bordering on a little rediculous, but thats okay...

Korea: Enjoy 1988 all over again! -
Not everyone might remember, but Korea hosted the summer Olympics in Seoul in 1988. Lucky for you, if you head to some areas downtown, you can still see construction barriers (to block out people from visiting apartment construction sights) advertising the Summer Olympics of 1988! It doesn't matter that they're long over, or that the Olympic buildings look almost archaic - you can still see all of the murals advertising the greatness of the Summer Olympics of 1988!

Come to Korea! No wait, don't come to korea. We are best and your tourism will bring us to less perfectness.

take care all,
God bless