hello all -
this was meant to be a posting on my weekend trip to the DMZ, or demilitarized zone, but that post will be waiting for another day, when i can think of what i'm going to write. this posting is going to be about living in a different country. i know, i know, you're probably thinking "why couldn't he choose that dmz topic", but i'm hoping you aren't.
one of the questions i've been asked lately, by both people living in korea, and from people through e-mails is the question of "hows the loneliness"? its an odd question, and when you first get asked it, you have to think about it. part of the reason for people asking me now is that i've almost been here for three months - i arrived in korea on february 22 (or 23, i can't remember). it seems like just the other week when i was here, and in that sense, you rush to answer the question, and say something close to "oh, its not bad at all. when you work wierd hours like i do (mwf - 12:30-8:30 - tth - 12:30-6:30) you don't have a lot of time to think of things such as home life, etc.
shamefully, i'll admit that i've become somewhat self-centered since i've been here. i was blessed to have my cousin just finish visiting me for two weeks. as much fun as we both had, for the first few days, it was pretty tough for me to adjust to. after two months of only having to worry about myself, its odd when you have someone visiting, because you a)get jealous of their time to go to all sorts of places that i haven't been able to visit myself, and b) you get excited, because you can actually see someone new - they're another person to talk to. speaking of speaking, its becoming more apparant to me that i've been here for a little bit. i'm sure that peter (my cousin) could tell you multiple times (and if he doesn't, then he's being too kind) where i've had to stop myself from speaking in broken english even though i'm talking to someone who has no problem understanding me. even in my house, where i live with three other guys, we do it all the time; you get so used to using the most simplistic form of communication, that when you get back to your house, or anywhere talking to other english people, you just get used to it, and used to hearing it, that its somewhat second nature; its funny to hear (interesting as well that while i've come to Korea to speak english, my vocal skills are decreasing, while my grammar knowledge is increasing).
getting back to the lonliness part, one of the things that really helps is the students. as odd as that sounds, its not the students as much as it is their names. when i asked some of the teachers leaving my hog-wan, the trick they told me helps them remember people and friends back home is naming your students after your best friends and family members. so pretty much all of my best friends are represented in my classroom - if they aren't, its because they're somewhere else in the school, in someone else's classroom. initially, i din't think that it would mean anything. but after a while, when you say their name aloud when teaching, or as they're walking by your classroom door, just hearing the name yourself can't help but make you visualize the reason why that name is triggering a response in your head. its pretty cool. especially siblings - having students in school with siblings names has helped out a lot.
in that sense, have i been all that lonely since i've been here? yes and no. loneliness is a strange feeling; some days i'll really miss just having a good close friend to talk to, sit, chat and have a beer with. and other days, i sometimes feel as if i could see myself (after coming home for a month or two) teaching esl for another few years after i'm done here.
well, i hope and pray that things are going well with all of you - time is flying by here, and the weekends go far too fast. sometime this week i'll post on the dmz. until then,
annyanseo - (good-bye in korean, for those who are at a lost)
bryan